Relationships

What can I expect in Therapy for Partners?

Therapy for partners is appropriate for any two people who want to work on being together.   My practice is LGBTQ+ affirming, and I provide a welcoming place for everyone who wants to work on their relationship.

Improving communication is often a big part of the work, in addition to exploring relationship dynamics and areas of conflict.  This is not about finding out who is “wrong,” but rather discovering what works for each of you, and what works for you as partners.   Sometimes this work makes it possible for a relationship to end in a good way.   As your therapist, my job is to help you have a safe place to explore what is true for each of you, and to give you some skills for doing so in a healthy way.

So much of how we function is connected to what we learned in our families of origin.  Most of us have some wounding from situations that were not optimal, even with the most well-intentioned parents.   Its important to discover how you need to be loved, and how your partner needs to be loved, given some of those earlier experiences.  We do this by allowing all parties to feel understood and validated, and by identifying difficult feelings and unhealthy patterns.  We work to set boundaries, to increase awareness of past traumas and triggering experiences, and to discuss choices.   All of this work is embodied in compassion, accountability, consent, and kindness.

My experience has been that as people develop greater understanding,  they often grow a softer view toward themselves and others.   This can contribute to the space needed for shifts in their relationships.  Creating healthy relationships requires stretching our tolerances with hard work and introspection, but the reward of such risk can bring you to lightness, joy and deeper connection.

“I define connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and recieve without judgement; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.”

— Brene Brown